Updated: June 2025

Available in 8 Journals

This article is available as an academic paper in over 8 international psychology journals like Educational Psychology & Cognition eJournal, Psychology of Innovation eJournal, Emerging Research within Organizational Behavior eJournal, Philosophy of Mind eJournal, Cognitive Psychology eJournal, etc.

An older version of this article was published in a reputed website of thinkers called Bestthinking.com in 2010. The site was unfortunately closed, but the article is accessible in the archives and is also reproduced in my website here. Pls click here to see the archive.

Click here to see full list of journals with Issue date and Issue number.

Summary

We may be far from truth when we say, "I have full control over my actions". Not all actions are results of our conscious decisions. Most of our actions are results of what I call "Mental Reflex Actions™" which are controlled by our subconscious mind, and on which we have little control. This realisation can help us get insights into ourselves and people's behavior, thereby enriching both our personal and professional lives. It can help us break free from our hidden self-made barriers.

Abstract

In this thought-provoking paper, the author challenges the notion that we are in control of our actions and behavior. Through compelling evidence, the author illustrates that we have very little control over our actions, as they are mostly driven by our subconscious mind.

The author introduces a new concept of "Mental Reflex Actions?" ? actions triggered by our subconscious mind that are beyond our conscious control. The paper explores both controllable and uncontrollable human behavior. It explains the meaning of subconscious mind, and the unfathomable nature of what gets stored in the subconscious mind. It introduces a new idea of "Subconscious Rule Book" and explains how its contents dictate the course of our lives. Our conscious mind is often unaware of this rule book. Most of us live our entire life without knowing what is stored in our subconscious rule book. The paper discusses how knowing the contents of our rule book can change our lives and offers methods to dig into the depth of our subconscious mind to unravel these contents.

By exploring the depths of our subconscious mind, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us. The author explains how this insight can enhance our interpersonal relationships, both in our personal and professional lives, and improve our people management skills.

Ultimately, the paper argues that the key to understanding others is to know oneself. Uncovering the secrets of the subconscious mind is crucial to breaking free from our self-imposed barriers -. barriers rooted in the rules that we ourselves wrote in our rule book, but now hidden in the depths of our subconscious mind. This paper is a must-read for those seeking to understand the intricacies of the human mind and improve their interpersonal relationships.

We Have no Control on Our Actions

Have you ever caught yourself acting in a way you don't like - and then regretted that you did it?

Do you often struggle to break free from behaviors that don't serve you, even when you knowingly want to change?

Maybe you have tried to change, but despite your best intentions, something deep within you resists leaving you puzzled and frustrated.

What if the answer lies not in your conscious choices, but in a deeper, hidden part of your mind? You dislike a certain behavior or reaction, yet no matter how hard you try, it seems to control you. This internal conflict reveals the complex interplay between our conscious desires and the unconscious forces that shape our actions.

The real reason isn't laziness or lack of willpower. The answer lies deep within – it is some unseen forces of your subconscious mind silently steering your actions, often without your conscious permission.

Understanding the role of the subconscious mind can help us uncover the hidden patterns driving our behaviors and unlock the potential for real change

Contrary to popular belief, we have limited control over our actions. Despite the common assertion, "I am in control of myself," the reality is that much of our behavior is driven by forces beyond our conscious awareness. We are compelled to behave in certain ways, and we are seldom in full command.

Unbelievable, but true. When we think before we make decisions or act, we do so with our conscious mind. However, life is filled with decisions and actions at every step. Every moment, the mind is busy analyzing, making split-second decisions and taking actions. Not all of these actions result from conscious analysis; most are the product of unconscious processes. Our subconscious mind influences our behavior in countless ways, often without us realizing it. Most of our undesirable behavior arises from the subconscious mind and hence we find it difficult to change. Yet, most of us live our entire life without knowing what is hidden in our subconscious mind.

By exploring the workings of the subconscious mind and its impact on our behavior, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and find inner peace. Understanding the role of the subconscious mind can also help us comprehend others better and improve our relationships.

What is Subconscious Mind?

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One common example used to explain the subconscious mind is the process of learning to drive a car. When you first start learning, your full attention is focused on the details of the task: the gears, the clutch, and the road ahead. You observe every pothole, bump, and obstacle with acute awareness, as you consciously navigate the vehicle (Fig. 1).

However, as you become more proficient, the task is delegated to your subconscious mind, and you start driving without any conscious effort. The process transitions from conscious effort to unconscious habit. You begin to drive without deliberate thought, instinctively avoiding obstacles and shifting gears as needed, all while engaging in other activities such as conversation, listening to music, and enjoying the scenery.

Fig. 1: The path you follow to drive while avoiding potholes

Through repeated practice, the act of driving becomes ingrained in the subconscious mind, freeing the conscious mind from the task. Driving decisions and actions transition from the conscious mind to the subconscious mind, allowing you to make decisions automatically and drive instinctively. By the time you reach your destination, you may not recall specific bumps or potholes encountered along the way, as your subconscious mind smoothly navigated the journey without conscious awareness. You performed all these actions without being consciously aware of them.

The example of an elephant in a circus provides another excellent illustration of the workings of the subconscious mind.

If you have ever been to a circus, you may have observed that the enormous elephants are secured by a chain tied to a small stick driven into the ground (called a stake). With its incredible strength, the mighty elephant can easily pull the stake from the ground and escape. However, it chooses not to. Once tethered to the stake, the elephant stays put. This raises the question: what compels the elephant to remain tied?

Years ago, when the elephant was young, it was tied up with the same chain to the same stake. The baby elephant made several attempts to escape, but to no avail. It pulled with all its might, causing its feet to bleed and experiencing great pain. It tried again and again, and eventually gave up. The repeated failed attempts to break free, fueled with the sight of blood and fear of pain, only reinforced the belief that it was impossible to escape when tied to the stake. Over time, this belief became ingrained in the elephant's subconscious mind.

Years later, despite having grown up and having acquired enough strength to uproot the stake, the elephant still chooses to remain within the radius of the chain. The subconscious mind controls the elephant's actions and behaviors for the rest of its life, much like it controls the actions of a car driver.

Repeated events, occurrences, experiences, or self-assertions can embed an idea, learning, or rule into the subconscious mind, causing one to follow that rule automatically, like a robot, without conscious decision-making.

To better understand the workings of the subconscious mind, try the following exercise: Hold your arm horizontally in front of your face with the palm flat and facing up. Now, close your eyes and imagine that you are holding a lemon on your palm right before your eyes. I encourage you to try this exercise before reading any further.

Did you experience your mouth watering when you imagined a lemon in your palm? The conscious mind knows that there is no lemon and that it is only an imagination. However, the subconscious mind is irrational and blindly reacts to the imagery presented by the conscious mind, leading to a physical response such as salivation.

While the conscious mind is responsible for logical and analytical reasoning, the subconscious mind is characterized by its irrationality and intuitive nature. Consequently, the subconscious mind is often illogical and can lead to behaviors and actions that seem irrational from a logical standpoint.

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Subconscious Rule Book

Just as we avoid potholes and negotiate bumps while driving a car, we have been navigating life's journey since early childhood, encountering various obstacles and challenges along the way. These experiences have taught us important lessons, giving us insights to identify the potholes and bumps on the road of life. Based on whether the outcomes of our earlier reactions were positive or negative, we made important judgments and decisions about what to do and what to avoid, or about our life's do's and don'ts. We made our inferences on where the life's potholes and bumps lie, what they look like, and how we should either avoid or manage them throughout life.

We formed opinions and passed judgments about ourselves, about people around us, deciding what types of people are good or bad. We accumulated lessons and created our very personal book of behavioral ground rules, or what I call "The Subconscious Rule Book™". This rule-book is the foundation of our beliefs and biases which we carry throughout our lives. We call it the subconscious rule book because, as we will see later, most of these rules eventually reside in the subconscious mind.

This book, in addition to having rules, also records our own opinions and biases about ourselves and others.

All of us have made conclusions about people based on their appearance. For example, if we had a bad experience with someone who had a long nose and grey eyes, and this experience was repeated by chance, our brain might conclude that all people with long noses and grey eyes are bad. An irrational rule was then written into our subconscious rule book. Remember, we started writing into this rule book when we were kids.

Whenever we encountered situations or conditions that resulted in unpleasant experiences, our brain devised ways to avoid them by retracting, withdrawing, eluding, evading or staying clear of such situations. For instance, if you went to a party and had an embarrassing experience, or someone made an unpleasant comment about you, you might judge yourself harshly and add a rule in your rule book: never go to parties again. A few repetitions of similar incidents, and this rule became ingrained in your subconscious rule book. For the rest of your life, you would subconsciously avoid parties, without your conscious mind being aware of the rule you wrote that has been driving your decisions.

We have identified the potholes along the path of our lives. These potholes are situations or conditions that have caused embarrassment or unpleasant experiences. These can also be specific physical traits we have associated with "bad guys to avoid". I will call them "mental potholes" because they may not be real; they are creations of our minds. As we navigate through life's journey, we consciously strive to steer clear of these mental potholes (Fig. 2).

Unfortunately, our brain tries to seek further validation to support our beliefs and rules, even if they may not necessarily be logical. When some of these experiences are repeated, even by chance, our beliefs receive the validation that we subconsciously try to seek: "See, I was right!" we tell ourselves. We feel happy when our beliefs and rules are reinforced.

Just as our driving skills become automatic through frequent repetition, our brain's judgments and rules also become deeply ingrained in our subconscious mind through repeated reinforcement. Once embedded in the subconscious mind, these beliefs and rules remain active throughout our lives, even if our conscious mind has relegated them and forgotten about them. In a later section, we will see why these rules fade from our conscious memory.

Fig. 2: The path we follow in our Life's journey while avoiding mental potholes

Similar to how we drive the car, avoiding potholes and slowing down for bumps without consciously noticing, we tread the life's path avoiding imaginary mental potholes, slowing down for the bumps that we have defined, without even realizing that we are doing so, and without realizing why we are doing so (Fig. 2).

Our behavior is largely involuntary and governed by what I call Mental Reflex Action™? (discussed later), based on the knowledge base and rule-book stored in our subconscious mind. Despite our self-perception of being highly balanced and making conscious decisions, our behavior is largely driven by involuntary actions, and we often react without consciously knowing why.

As we navigate through life's journey, we often drive topsy-turvy due to the mental potholes that we have defined since childhood (Fig. 2). Similar to the elephant's situation, these mental potholes may no longer exist due to changed conditions or may have never existed in the first place It is possible that we have erred in our judgment and created bumps where there are none. Despite this, we continue to avoid these mental potholes or slow down for bumps without consciously noticing these imaginary potholes, or our erratic driving.

You may have experienced sometimes that you act in a certain way and then immediately ask yourself, "Hey, why did I do that?" Most likely, you did so because of a mental pothole. You will be surprised to know that actually the situations may have changed, conditions in your life may have evolved, your own abilities have improved, but you were simply reacting to a mental pothole in the way your mind has been conditioned to react to it.

By the time we become adults, we accumulate a vast list of rules, essentially authoring a personal volume of rule book. Similar to the elephant's situation, most of our rules are restrictive and tie us down, acting as barriers that prevent us from taking action. Since we feel a sense of satisfaction when we are proved right, we subconsciously seek out situations or create conditions that validate our rules. We almost fall in love with our rule book. We continue to add new rules throughout our lives, resulting in a massive collection of guidelines in our Subconscious Rule Book™.

Anatomy of a Subconscious Rule

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To gain a better understanding of our subconscious rules, we can refer back to the example of the elephant tied to a stake. The baby elephant struggled and pulled until its feet bled and it was in pain. Despite repeated attempts to break free, the elephant eventually gave up. It then wrote a rule on stone: "When you are tied to a stake, stay put." This rule was reinforced through repeated attempts to break free and eventually became a part of the subconscious rule book.

Upon closer inspection, it becomes evident that every rule is composed of two distinct components, as illustrated in Fig. 3

1. Rule Title: A concise, actionable summary of the rule that enables immediate action based on a specific condition. This component typically takes the form of "If [condition], then [action]."
2. Rule Justification: This component provides a detailed explanation or rationale for the rule, often starting with the word "BECAUSE". Essentially, it serves to elaborate on the logic behind the rule.

Fig. 3: The Rule that the Elephant wrote

By grasping these two components of a rule, we can gain a deeper understanding of our subconscious rule book and the beliefs and biases that guide our behaviour.

We can draw an analogy to how businesses operate to understand how our rule book governs our actions and lives. In business organizations, there is a hierarchy where senior managers define policies, procedures and rules, by brainstorming on the rationale and justifications. Thus, business organizations too have a rule book, known as a policy document, which has the "Rule Titles", but not the "Rule Justifications" (Fig. 3). The junior employees follow the rules without questioning.

It enhances efficiency and seems to be the optimal way to operate. Senior managers are not burdened by minor day-to-day decisions, allowing them to concentrate on more significant, strategic decisions for the future. Senior managers are not burdened by minor day-to-day decisions, allowing them to concentrate on more significant, strategic decisions for the future, while the junior employees can act following established rules and procedures.

We can also compare our rule book to a computer program. A human (programmer) designs the logic and codes it into a program, which consists of a set of instructions specifying "what to do when". The computer program includes instructions of the type "IF...THEN.." discussed earlier. The program is then executed by the computer's Central Processing Unit (CPU), which follows the instructions without questioning, regardless of their accuracy, much like a mindless follower.

In humans, the conscious mind is equivalent to senior officers in a business organization or a computer programmer as per our computer analogy. The conscious mind, which is logical and analytical, writes the "Rule Justification" part of our rule. Once the rules are established, the conscious mind delegates the rule book to the subconscious mind (see Fig. 4). Since the conscious mind is constantly busy and our brains must make quick decisions every moment, the subconscious mind acts like junior officers or the computer CPU, swiftly executing actions based on the rule book.

Fig. 4: The Rule and the Conscious/Sub-conscious Mind

So, what does the subconscious mind do? The subconscious mind only looks at the title of the rule (IF...THEN..) and instantly acts accordingly, without considering the second part of the rule, that is, detailed 'Rule Justification' or "Because" logic. In fact, the subconscious mind may not even have access to the Rule Justification or detailed explanation part of the rule. Similarly, in businesses, policy documents only contain rules, without providing the reasoning behind them. Junior officers follow the rules without being given details about the reasoning behind them. The subconscious mind simply executes the rules, doing a super quick and efficient job, while the conscious mind remains undisturbed.

This process improves our decision-making ability of the conscious mind and allows for quicker execution of actions by the subconscious mind, similar to how businesses operate. However, there is a significant problem that arises.

The Problem with the Subconscious Rule Book™

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The overall strategy appears sound and logical - both for individuals and businesses. It makes sense to spend time analyzing situations, formalizing procedures, and documenting rules in a rulebook to enable quick, on-the-spot decision-making.

While this approach works well for organizations, it presents a major challenge for individuals. In contrast to businesses, where rules and procedures are crafted by competent and experienced minds, our personal "rulebooks" governing our behavior are often created by immature, underdeveloped and inexperienced minds, and are not reliable.

The issue lies in the fact that we began forming these judgments at a very young age when we lacked both the ability to properly assess the situations, and the maturity to make well-informed decisions.

Consequently, guided by our juvenile perspectives in our early childhood, we established a set of do's and don'ts based on our limited understanding of the world. It is said that by the age of 9, our rule book is already complete.

And guess what, the Subconscious Rule book that drives our lives is a bundle of irrational rules authored by an ignorant child's mind. Since most of the rules are written in our childhood, they are often illogical.

Before we can mature and re-evaluate them with a more mature and conscious brain, these rules created by our kid brain get embedded in our subconscious mind by repeated reinforcements, while they disappear from our conscious mind.

The conscious mind is not even aware of these rules, yet our subconscious brain uses them to dictate our actions. While sometimes (but rarely), the title of the rule may surface in our conscious mind, the second part of the rule or the Rule Justification is rarely noticed by the conscious mind. Most often, the entire rule book remains outside the awareness of the conscious mind.

However, our subconscious mind continues to run our lives based on an illogical set of rules!

The big question then is, how do we make our conscious mind aware of our rule book? Unfortunately, there are no easy methods. Most of us go through life without ever being aware of the existence of our rule book, let alone its contents. However, we will examine one method to break free from the Subconscious Rule Book in a forthcoming section.

Mental Reflex Action™

A significant portion of our irrationality can be attributed to our subconscious mind. This irrationality is caused by what I refer to as Mental Reflex Action™, which is similar to the physical reflex action we are familiar with. Physical reflex action occurs when our body reacts to a stimulus before the message reaches our rational brain, resulting in an automatic reaction that we are not consciously aware of.

Mental reflex action occurs when our brain makes a split-second decision based on our subconscious rule book, resulting in an automatic response. The brain quickly references the rule book, and executes the resultant action without any delay of conscious reasoning, like a computerized output. As we make numerous split-second decisions every moment, the subconscious rule book helps us make instant decisions each time there is a stimulus.

There is, however, a significant difference between physical reflex action and mental reflex action. While we become aware of the reaction a few moments after a physical reflex action, we may never be aware of the reactions resulting from mental reflex action. The elephant does not know that it is reacting to an irrational rule in its rule book. Therefore, the irrational rule book may never get revised or corrected.

Why Subconscious Rule Book is Hidden

To better understand this, let's return to our computer analogy. Think of the subconscious mind as the computer's ROM (Read-Only Memory), storing rules permanently, while the conscious mind operates like RAM (Random Access Memory), a dynamic storage handling immediate, active processing. When the conscious mind first formulates a rule (for example, from a significant experience or repeated advice), it saves both the rule and its justification in the conscious memory (RAM). It transfers only the "rule title" to the subconscious (ROM) (Fig. 4). The subconscious mind retains it for life.

As life goes on, whenever a situation arises that triggers this rule, the subconscious mind acts on the rule in a flash without the conscious mind being aware of it. This is what we referred to earlier as Mental Reflex Action. With repeated use, the subconscious mind continues to mechanically apply the rule, without the original justification, bypassing the conscious mind. Consequently, as the conscious mind rarely revisits the rule and its justification, that information fades away. That section of the RAM may be reused with new experiences and thoughts. The rule gets completely erased from the conscious memory.

The conscious mind, having lost access to the details, eventually forgets why the rule was created in the first place. As these behavioral patterns repeat over time, the subconscious mind keeps reacting based on the rule - now stripped of its justification - continuing to influence actions silently and powerfully, whereas the conscious mind remains oblivious.

Games Played by the Subconscious Mind

We may not be aware, but our mind plays games with us. Our subconscious mind often operates beneath the surface, driving our actions in ways we may not even realize. Consider the story of a boy who, harboring a grudge against his father, failed an exam. Outwardly, he appeared sad and disappointed, expressing regret over his performance. He even insisted that he had worked hard and wanted to succeed. Yet, deep within his subconscious, there was a hidden satisfaction - he had managed to hurt his father, who had high expectations for his academic success. This inner sense of revenge brought him a quiet happiness, even as he wore the mask of sadness.

This story highlights several crucial truths about our minds:

• Our subconscious often overrides our conscious intentions. While the boy's conscious mind wanted to excel, his subconscious desire to hurt his father ultimately directed his actions.
• We are frequently unaware of our true motivations. The boy was not consciously aware that his failure was a form of subconscious revenge.
• Words and outward expressions can be deceptive. What we say or show on the surface may not reflect our deeper feelings or drives.
• The subconscious mind is the true driver of our lives. In most situations, it is the subconscious that wins, shaping our behaviors and decisions in subtle but powerful ways.

The Subconscious Pain Points

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Each of us carries in our minds a list of personal qualities that we consider "not OK". These qualities can relate to our physical appearance, complexion, abilities, or nature. These traits can be classified into two categories:

1. The Painful Traits: the traits that make us feel inferior, and
2. The No-pain Traits: the traits that we don't care about, or in other words, they don't really make you feel low.

It is the painful traits that often compel us to exhibit unnatural or abnormal behavior. These "Not OK" traits stem from opinions we formed about ourselves during childhood or from past embarrassing experiences that reinforced negative self-evaluations.

We try to forget these thoughts and memories of our painful traits, burying them deep within our subconscious mind. Although they may fade from our conscious thoughts, they continue to reside in our subconscious mind. They remain with us as our subconscious pain points.

When you have a stomach ache, the doctor checks for pain by poking various points and asking if it hurts. There may be no pain when the doctor presses at different points, but suddenly, on pressing a particular spot, you scream in pain. The doctor thus locates your physical pain point. Similarly, each of us has psychological pain points related to areas our personality or character that make us feel inadequate, flawed or inferior, or instill thoughts like "I am not OK".

Different incidents and experiences in life may lightly touch various parts of our personality, causing little or no pain. However, some incidents poke our subconscious pain points, and we react explosively. Our behavior is the most unpredictable when we are ruffled by some of our subconscious pain points.

Incidents in life or comments from people around us may continuously touch our conscience, but we may not react until something pricks our subconscious pain point, resulting in an almost explosive reaction. Since these pain points differ among individuals, people may react differently to the same stimuli. For instance, one person may be deeply hurt by a derogatory comment, while someone else may not care at all.

It is not uncommon that when a group of people receives the same derogatory comment, some in the group are driven to extremes, while others remain unfazed. For those who felt hurt, the abuse poked the pain point, whereas for others it did not.

When we encounter these subconscious pain points, we are often overwhelmed by intense emotions. and our reactions may not be well-controlled. These emotions can be linked to the same sensations that we first experienced when we had that same unpleasant and painful experience as a child, which we tried to push under the carpet and banish from our minds. In these situations, we feel powerless to control our reactions and are driven by our subconscious minds. When we face a situation that touches our subconscious pain point, we react spontaneously and compulsively. However hard we try to act differently, we are often unable to do so, as the same violent emotions and sensations take over and dictate our behavior.

We all have pain points, which lead to our idiosyncrasies. When these pain points are disturbed by a stimulus, such as a comment made by someone about us, we react sharply, revealing the driven nature of our behavior. We are driven to some behavior and are absolutely helpless in these circumstances. Our actions are then orchestrated by our subconscious mind, despite our desire to behave differently.

When we get upset, we may tend to blame others or external factors, but this is far from the truth. Very often, we are the ones who have upset ourselves. Whenever we feel annoyed or piqued, it is not because of any external factor, but because of our own inferiority complex, rooted in deep-seated pain points within us.

By recognizing this aspect, we unlock deeper insights into human behavior. This awareness can not only spare us a lot of heartburn we experience regarding our own behavior but also foster empathy toward others. When we recognize that others may have different pain points similar to our own, we are less likely to be annoyed by their seemingly irrational or spontaneous behavior.

Breaking Free from the Subconscious Rules

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We can break free from the shackles of the subconscious rule book if we can uncover our subconscious pain points. Our subconscious pain points or hidden emotional triggers are typically concealed in deep recesses of our minds, often hidden beneath a self-imposed cover. We prefer to keep them under cover as they are reminders of unpleasant experiences that we wish to forget. The challenge lies in excavating these deeply buried and suppressed memories nestled deep within our subconscious mind. It is only through acknowledging, uncovering and confronting these painful memories that we can start the journey toward healing. The question that arises is: How do we access the depths of our subconscious to uncover these concealed emotional triggers?

To aid in the discovery and elimination of these hidden unpleasant recordings and emotional triggers from our subconscious mind that impact our actions, I propose the following exercise.

The exercise involves revisiting situations that made you feel angry, embarrassed, or uneasy. Wait untill you regain your normal state of mind, find a quiet place, sit back and relax. Close your eyes and mentally recreate the same situation, the sequence of events and experience that triggered those negative emotions. Imagine that situation in great detail, almost reliving the same moments.

As you re-live those moments of your unpleasant experience, notice the thoughts in your mind. Pay attention to the details and notice the sensations in your body, such as in your stomach or any other part of the body, as you relive the unpleasant experience of the day. Keep asking yourself repeatedly, "What are the thoughts in my mind NOW? What are the sensations in different parts of the body RIGHT NOW?" Simply observe and acknowledge your thoughts, feelings and sensations without reacting to them.

This exercise is likely to reveal some hidden realities about yourself, uncovering parts of your subconscious mind. You may discover illogical thoughts that triggered your anger or outburst, leading to the unpleasant experience.

The exercise outlined here is a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. By practicing it regularly, you can identify and eliminate pain points in your subconscious mind that may be influencing your behavior. Over time, you may feel lighter and more at ease as you learn to let go of these negative emotions.

To maximize the benefits of this exercise, it is essential to follow a critical guideline. As you begin to observe your thoughts, you might uncover memories and experiences that are highly unpleasant and discomforting. The process can also bring forth thoughts and memories that induce feelings of embarrassment, shame, or emotional distress. Engaging in this exercise may touch upon your subconscious pain points, potentially triggering painful and shameful emotions that have long been buried in your subconscious. It is extremely important to simply observe these thoughts and fully experience the associated feelings and sensations without reacting to them.

You may encounter uncomfortable or distressing memories and emotions and feel tempted to dismiss or ignore them. You will almost try to shoo them away, as you have been doing all your life, but it is vital to resist this urge and instead keenly observe and experience these sensations and feelings without reacting.

This exercise involves recreating a situation shortly after it occurred. After practicing this exercise repeatedly, the next step is to implement it in real-time. Performing this exercise in real-time means engaging in it during the heat of the moment, such as when facing an unpleasant situation like feeling angry, and not by recreating the situation afterwards. During such moments, observe your thoughts and sensations without immediate reaction. This approach can lead to newfound insights into your subconscious, potentially revealing previously unknown aspects of yourself. It is possible that deep-seated elements of your subconscious may come to the surface and surprise you.

This exercise aims to train your conscious mind to become aware of hidden aspects of your subconscious. The reactions to certain events or triggers were hardwired into your subconscious mind, completely concealed from the conscious mind. By bringing your hidden patterns into your conscious awareness, you can review and choose to change the undesired compulsive reactions.

What We Stand to Gain

These discussions provide a valuable insight into our own self and our interactions with others. Insight into the working of the subconscious mind can help us open our eyes to two important realisations:

"Ultimately, I am as unpredictable as you are."

"You may have your quirks, rather idiosyncrasies, that are obvious to me but hidden from you - and I likely have mine that are my blind spots."

How often have we felt upset by the actions of someone close, assuming malicious intent behind their behavior? However, acknowledging that we are all slaves to our subconscious mind can foster greater empathy and understanding towards others' actions.

If we understand that their actions may be involuntary reactions triggered by their pain points, we can empathize with them. They may not be in control, just as we have been helpless in similar situations. By appreciating that we are all puppets of circumstances and rarely the masters, we can understand people better and react more sympathetically.

The key lesson is to empathize with others. If we realize that others' actions are as irrational as our own, we can understand and empathize with them. If we assume that someone has wronged us intentionally, it begins to create a rift in our relationship. If we appreciate that their actions are often involuntary, as ours are, we can save our relationships.

By acknowledging our shared human experience and limitations, we can cultivate empathy and understanding towards others. By doing so, we can foster better relationships and improve the quality of our interactions.

There is a close relation between subconscious mind and spontaneity. A close study of spontaneous reactions, your own and of others, can help reveal the true self.

Spontaneous Reactions: The Mirror to the True Self

For example, a spontaneous smile, an unplanned gesture of kindness, or a sudden expression of concern often reveal more about a person's inner world than carefully chosen words or expensive gifts. In contrast, greetings, gifts, and polite gestures are usually filtered through the conscious mind, shaped by social expectations or a desire to please, and may not reflect authentic emotion.

This understanding has practical implications:

• To truly know someone, observe their spontaneous reactions. These moments provide a window into their subconscious mind and true self.
• Value authenticity over formality. Genuine, unplanned expressions of love or care are more meaningful than scripted or material displays.

The Subconscious Mind: Future Possibilities

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We mostly remain unaware of the existence and contents of our subconscious rule book. For most of us, this hidden manual remains elusive throughout our lives. Though complex methods do exist today, discovering this hidden rule book, identifying its tangled rules, and striving to break free from our subconscious bondages are incredibly challenging tasks.

However, with the ongoing progress in knowledge and scientific advancements, I am optimistic that we will eventually develop methods to address and overcome this limitation. I am confident that will find solutions to the challenges posed by our irrational subconscious rule book.

I envision a future where we have scientific means to retrieve our subconscious rule book, read the rules we wrote as children, re-analyze with our adult brain, and rewrite the rule book with corrected, more rational rules.

But why aim low? I believe that since science and technology have achieved incredible results, we should THINK THE UNTHINKABLE for future possibilities. Only by daring to envision the seemingly impossible and thinking beyond what is currently imaginable can we pave the way for new discoveries.

My optimistic mind envisions a much more advanced future. Why allow the rule book to become populated with illogical rules in the first place? Why let it get buried in our subconscious mind, only to be uncovered with difficulty later to rewrite the rules? With advanced scientific techniques, can we envision a future where we can prevent illogical rules from entering the rule book during our childhood?

The potential for scientific advancements to help us understand and manage our subconscious mind better is vast. If we stop illogical rules from getting into the rule book, we eliminate the need to correct it later! This forward-looking approach could revolutionize how we understand and manage our subconscious mind, leading to a more happier, harmonious and fulfilling existence. We will create a better world where our subconscious rules align with our conscious desires and goals! Cracking the hidden scripts of the Subconscious rule book could be a paradigm shift, and a transformative step in the field of psychology as cracking the DNA is a groundbreaking step in biology.

Thinking the Unthinkable

What we call cutting-edge science today may seem rudimentary to future generations. Recall how, when the steam engine first arrived, a renowned scientist warned that humans might suffocate if they traveled at "breakneck speed of 30 km/h"!.

This very idea of "thinking the unthinkable" is also a central theme in my book God in Two Minutes, where I envision an extraordinary future scientific transformation - a Spiritual Revolution that pushes the boundaries of imagination.

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Updated: June 2025

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